Fucking hard is not just one thing, it's many things driven by a common theme. But most of all, it's an overall rhythm and a vibe, a way of laying down the sex powerfully, controllingly, and confidently, with an overload of big dick energy oozing out of every stroke. Before we dive in deep… down to the small hairs on this matter, let’s look at a question from one of our trainees regarding the topic.
Matt T in White Plains, New York said…
“Coach, I’m interested in learning how to fuck hard, and I read what’s out there on the web, and they’re telling me to send dirty texts to my girl throughout the day to get her in the mood, and to make a safe word, but I’m like… ‘I need to know, physically, how to do this shit, how to move my ass right and feel bigger to her. I’m only 5 inches long (and growing with your help). But I know she’s been with bigger dudes.’ Everyone wants to try to pretend like your penis isn’t a factor, and it’s so much BS, because we’re talking about screwing. Tell me if I’m wrong, but your penis is the major tool involved, right? I need to know how to do it harder and better too, the act itself. I know you won’t lie or sugarcoat. You’ll just tell me straight, what I need to do.”
Our Answer: We love your New York swagger, Matt, and don’t worry, we can definitely teach you, with all that attitude, to lay down the sex rougher, and more powerfully, and she’ll feel you for sure. Half the game is mindset, but the other half is physical. And, yes, last time we checked, the penis is the driving force behind penetrative sex. Here’s the deal…
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The 2 Dimensions
Sex has two sides (or if your prefer, dimensions): the body and the mind. Okay, possibly three if we want to get Tantric and start talking about spiritual sexuality, but let’s leave that off for another discussion. For this lesson, two sexual aspects (Physical and Emotional) are all we need to concern ourselves with, and the fact that men tend to resonate with the physical (body) piece more and that women are generally more aligned with the emotional (mind) piece. In this article, we will cover both, so you’ll be sure to get the whole pictures.
The advice Matt was finding on-line focused only on the emotional aspect of going harder, basically, how to get your partner in the right mindset, and this is an important piece to the puzzle. But where those discussions fall short, is by pretending (as Matt suggested) that the physical piece: the penis, the way the guy moves, all the male body elements of the deed, don’t matter. And those elements DO matter. They matter a lot. Indeed, many discussions on this topic forget that, in order for the male emotional component to be right, the guy has to be confident. This includes confidence about his body and his ability to deliver awesome, intense fucking. It’s not accurate, and actually it’s bad advice to say: don’t worry about your penis (when the one-eyed monster is definitely involved); or, don’t worry about how you’re thrusting (but if you’re klutzing out these little robotic creampuff strokes, there is no way the experience can equate to an earthshaking tumble between the sheets). Matt is 100% correct in his argument, that we can’t talk about sex (especially cranking up the sexual intensity) without talking about what your dick, your ass, your entire body needs to be doing to sell the experience. Now, as men, we don’t want to obsess about these things. There is a difference between recognizing and paying attention to a thing and being obsessed with it. These body aspects are not the only aspect of laying down a stronger pipe show. But, the opposite of pretending these things are not a factor, we will in fact begin with the male body piece and roll our way into the rest.
Should I Fuck Like a Porn Star
Or Is Porn The Devil?
Advice columns will often say “forget what you see in porn,” and they have their good intentions for saying this. But let’s ask a silly question that’s completely relevant to our current subject matter. Don’t the dudes in porn fuck hard? The answer is a resounding, yes. And, hell, porn might be the inspiration for why you want to bang it out stronger to begin with. In the heat of the moment, your girl might have asked you to screw her like a porn star, and you might have—well, let’s look at what another one of our trainees shared…
Willy F, in Redmond Oregon said…
“So, coach, I was having sex with my girl last night, and she says, ‘fuck me like a whore,’ and, I’m so stupid, I actually babbled out ‘what?’ Because, I was surprised, you know… she hadn’t done any kind of dirty talk before, and I wasn’t sure I’d even heard her right. She says next, ‘fuck me like a porn slut,’ and it was exciting but also confusing. I think she had been on my phone spying some of my porn, and I guess she was trying to make my fantasies real. And I was so totally unprepared, coach. I mean, I tried to pick up the pace, and I pulled her hair, it felt lame though. All I could think in that moment was how big the dicks are in porn—totally gay, right, worrying about dicks when I’m in a pussy? Whatever, I’m embarrassed to even tell the story, but I have to tell you, so you can help me be ready for next time.”
Answer: So, Willy, it’s not gay (laugh) unless you were thinking about riding a dick, then maybe a little gay… not that there would be anything terrible about that (laugh again). What happened, is you got caught up obsessing on dick size, which is perfectly normal, and natural, but not a good way to fuel your mojo. The size of a boy’s dick is a real factor in sex, but we need to do our dick size work in advance of the main event, and also have ourselves geared up for the main event (*with cock ring in place, vibrators, hand cuffs, whatever), so that we are confident in the knowledge that we are equipped and plenty big enough to hammer it home.
On the topic of porn, the truth is, the "art" form is not without its teachable moments, though it’s never designed to instruct. You can on some occasions learn moves watching your favorite xxx stars, you can learn positions and kinks, but you CAN NOT teach your dick to be bigger by looking at another dude’s big dick—not unless he’s teaching you his penis enlargement workout strategy. That’s where we come in (laugh). And honestly, while Pornhub and the other tube sites are not the right venue for sex education, you absolutely can learn to have better sex by watching the right skilled people having sex. As a team, the coaches here at allknight.com watch each other having sex all the time. We take notes, critique, film each other, give pointers and so on. And we can teach you better sex techniques too, in a more well-rounded way than classic porn—a way that’s really aimed at instruction. At the same time though, there’s no point in demonizing porn, like nothing can ever be learned from it, when indeed some things can.
That said, reality is blurred in pornography. No girl is ever really just laying on a cabana chair ready to be double penetrated, with no preparation, no foreplay, just ready to go hardcore with you and your best friend. That only happens in fantasies (and maybe certain swingers clubs). To learn anything of value from porn you have to be able to strip away the layers that are purely entertainment, and you have to step outside the sphere of dick comparison too. Then, if you are looking purely at what the bodies are doing—the motion in the ocean as they say—then you might be able to pick something up.
But don’t worry, rolling with your buddies here at allknight.com, you’ll be able to lay it down like a male porn star if that’s your goal. Some of us are, in fact, male porn stars, though we’re also more than that. And guess what, you can even learn to do it better than your favorite xxx studs, because you will be able to execute your bedroom swagger in a real-world scenario, without fluffers, and cut scenes, and a director, and a layer of entertainment fantasy on top. You’ll be able to lay down the stroke game for real.
Fucking Hard Vs. Rough Sex
These two concepts are not actually in competition, they are companions. They get along so well that often they are merged into the same concept. But we would argue that being a hard fucker has a specific connotation about deeper, faster, skillful thrusts; about using your body weight, holding down your lover’s arms, lifting your lover’s legs like the wings of a butterfly for greater access to her depths, and most importantly, your ability to play these moves into the groove with variety, animal heat, and big dick energy (superseding however big your penis actually is). We would then submit that rough sex is less specific and tactical, and more wholistic. Rough sex is about dominating the bedroom action, being in control (but obviously in a compassionate, caring, and consensual way). And both of these together are about unleashing your masculine energy through sex in a way that will awake primal urges and passions for you and your partner alike.
This is what we’re looking to discuss and teach you, how to create a singularly impressive sexual experience for you and your lover, based on these philosophies. And with all the primers in place, we’ll get started right now with the physical demands of fucking hard.
The Male Body:
How to Make It Fuck Hard (And Good)
The role of the male body in sex, has 2 aspects that can be broken into a single seafaring metaphor that you’ve heard many times before. If sex is a voyage from one continent to another, then in terms of male contribution, the factors that determine how enjoyable the voyage will be are: the size of the boat, and the motion in the ocean. It’s simple, elegant, and true. The important thing to notice about these aspects, is that they blur together. In the middle of fucking, your lover can’t fully separate one from the other, so a big boat (AKA a well-endowed male organ) inside her (or his) love tunnel can make up for a rather uneventful, bland sea. And a tempest of crashing waves and raging currents (how you move your body with amazing sex skill) can make sailing in a little dingy more exciting. And if you put both together—hot damn, the sex voyage might take you to another planet of passion, not just another continent. So, with that, lets jump on getting you a biggest boat possible, and then we’ll work on putting more chop and swell in your ocean.
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Male Body Aspect 1:
The Size of The Boat
Yes, we mean your penis, because the size of the peg going into the hole absolutely impacts the experience and there’s no point pretending it doesn’t. On this topic there are two scenarios that will derail a man’s ability to pull of a hard round of great sex. These must be handled and overcome, or they will cock-block you every time.
Penis Problems to Overcome:
Don’t be Cock-blocked.
Problem 1: Would be if he has erection issues, because a limp dick will neither go balls deep, nor be able create tip-in, tip-out thrusts, or any thrusts. A penis must be stiff enough for penetrative sex before we can have a discussion about making penetration more intense—in other words you have to be hard, to fuck hard.
Problem 2: would be if the male feels as though he is too small to accomplish the intense rhythm we are going for. Many columnists will tell you not to worry about this, but how exactly will you feel like a hard fucker—which is all about intensity—if you don’t yourself feel the sensations intensely. Let’s look at the concerns another trainee brought to us, regarding his experiences.
Zeke C, in Orange City, California said…
“I heard my sister talking to her girlfriends the other night about how cocks under six inches just don’t do it. Basically, she was saying that to bring the intensity, a cock has got to be at least six inches, but bigger was even better. She and her friends were also saying that skinny pricks suck, like a noodle dangling in a well was how they described it. Mind you, I wasn’t supposed to hear this, I was eavesdropping so maybe it serves me right. My dick is six and a half inches, so if other girls feel the way my sister’s friends do, maybe I’m okay for length. But in my own opinion I’ve always had a pencil dick. Thin, coach, really thin, like a noodle in a well. It measures about an inch across I guess, I sent photos, so you tell me. I try fucking hard to compensate, but I don’t know if it’s really working. I don’t think it is. A lot of hookups don’t call me back, I know that. I also know that, to me even, the friction feels weak, so I’m pretty sure it feels weak to the girls I get with. Should I try fucking even harder? What should I do?”
Answer: So, Zeke, the good news is that you are indeed doing okay lengthwise, actually a little above average. And having seen the photos you sent us, yes, it’s true, your penis is on the skinny side. We don’t think you’re imagining it. And banging pelvises so fiercely that you can hear the bones knocking won’t really solve the problem. In regard to sexual movement, guys always think pound-pound-pound, but really swivel and roll, smear and press movements are the way to feel thicker. Keep that in mind, but let’s also look at the source of your concern.
From looking at your photos, Zeke, we have a suspicion you are suffering from some degree of vascular insufficiency, I.E. your erection is not reaching full erectness and that’s why it’s so skinny. We believe your dong should be harder and thus thicker (and a little longer too) than what is currently being displayed. You’re only 28, so a lot of times younger guys with ED don’t exhibit a complete inability to get wood, they exhibit “weak” wood instead. Often, this shows as a thin hard-on with a very soft dick head that’s not filled out. We’ll talk about some lifestyle adjustments as we move through your training, but as a first course of treatment we’d suggest a quality cock ring (obviously one of ours would be best). Worn during sex, we think you’ll be amazed, at how much bigger, harder, thicker, and longer you will be. You won’t have to worry about the friction feeling “weak” and slack with your dick in a HARWEAR ring, that’s for sure; and the ego boost alone is certain to have you pumping it out like a porn star (just remember to roll your hips some, it’s not just about in and out).
A good sex ring should fix you up as an immediate solution. After that, we’d look at something in a weighted glans ring for all day wear, something you can Kegel with, and also wear under clothes as a weight therapy, to beef up your penile strength and vascularity (and yeah, as a side effect, your dick will get longer too). Between masturbating and fucking with a constriction ring, then building up to wearing a weight treatment a few hours daily, we should be able to reverse any penile atrophy you’ve suffered, and even take your penis to new levels of fitness and athletic performance.
So, trainee Zeke was very happy with our recommendations and course of training. In a ring (he went with the Hardwear Magneton), he was instantly able to hit an erection quality (EQ) of 7.1”x4.2” vs his unaided starting EQ being 6.4”x3.2”. He’s doing a classic Hardwear Payload for his weight therapy, and at three months into his training, he’s able to get an erection of 6.7”x3.7” without the ring. We’ve done some guided masturbation with him, to teach him about rolling and swiveling movements. And one of his latest hookups did call him back and is now calling herself his girlfriend. She has no complaints about his skinny dick… indeed, she doesn’t know he ever felt it was skinny to begin with… she just thinks he’s a kinky lay, likes cock rings, and knows how to fuck like a pro. But it is very unlikely, he could have pulled this off while feeling internally small and unsure. It’s extremely difficult for a guy to go hardcore if he doesn’t feel primal, and powerful, and in command. And a lot of times a physical issue with a boy’s bone really is a physical issue (one that can easily be addressed and fixed) even though the world seems to want to tell guys that all their dick problems are imagined.
The lesson is, address the damn problems, don’t let them get worse. If your dong is too soft, harden it up, there are lots of ways. If you feel small, let’s get on an enlargement routine. Before you run down to the surgeon’s office and drop thousands (which is an option), we’d suggest going the workout route first. Taking control of your sexual problems feels good and empowering, and just beginning your journey toward improvement will instantly improve your performance in the bedroom, and your ability to take control between the sheets. In addition to certain problems a boy must overcome to get or keep his hardcore game rolling, there are skills he must master as well, and that brings us to…
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Male Body Aspect 2:
The Motion in the Ocean
Yes, we mean how well you move your ass and the rest of your body, to deliver your fuck. Zeke, had a real issue going on with his dick that we helped him with. But he also had a lapse in knowledge. He told us he was trying to land his fuck hard to compensate for his “skinny” dick issue, but he didn’t feel like it was working, and he asked should he try fucking even harder. Just from the line of conversation, without ever watching him bang it out, we could tell with a high degree of certainty that he was probably relying on one style of thrusting (what we call piston style) and he was just going at it like a machine, in-out, in-out, pound-pound-pound.
If you want to feel bigger, guys, particularly if you want to feel thicker, you need to stir the spoon in the pot and scrape the sides. Sticking it straight in and pulling it straight back out, is only going to really get all the nerve endings inside a vagina or an anus if you’re well endowed. And even then, monotonous, repetitive movements, can become boring and even aggravating.
Fucking hard is a rhythm, it’s not about a guy pounding away senselessly and repetitiously without end, although there is a place for this. Good sex in general, and good rough sex in specific, is about a guy knowing how to pound a bit, grind a bit, roll a bit, pull his lovers hair, lay a couple of love bites on her neck while he’s grinding her, flip her over and then pound some more, now in doggie. Keeping your lover guessing, making her (or him) feel like you’re the man with the plan, and there’s no way to possibly be prepared for what you’ll do next, this is the key to pulling off a fuck-down that’s hard and also good!
The time for robo thrusts, hard strokes that keep going without variation, is when your lover is screaming, “Keep going, keep going, don’t stop!” That’s when you keep going in a steady or even intensifying rhythm. On the other hand, if things are a little ho-hum you need to mix it up. If the friction is feeling slack or loose, you need to wind your body more, roll your hips, tilt pelvis, and get your cock up against all the walls of whichever love tunnel it is your spelunking into.
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The Mind Space for Fucking Hard
Okay, so I think we’ve hit all the major physical points we must master. The male body is, in fact, absolutely critical to the subject matter. It will be the commanding force, the invading army, and the battering ram, coming against the fortress gates that indeed want to be invaded.
But the next piece—the mind—is equally important. The female brain must be aligned and down for this experience. The male brain must be aligned, and ready to be the commander and execute this experience. Here, in the emotional zone, there are obviously two sides to look at. (Funny, right? Seems like there were two sides to every part of this write-up and maybe that numerology itself has meaning. Sex does always involve two… or more) The two components are predictably yin and yang (female and male) or where man-man rough-house fucking is the game, yang and yang (male and male).
While yin (female) comes before yang (male), we are going to flip it around here and look at yang first. Because, seriously dude, if you don’t have your mind-game on, then we don’t need to worry about getting your girl souped up for this. Only when you are sure that you want to experience and command some more intense sexual episodes, should you even bring this up to your significant other. If it’s not something you are into, then don’t bring it up. If she brings it up, perhaps after forcing you to watch Fifty Shades of Gray with her… or The Secretary… any of the pop-BDSM movies, then the discussion will have come from her initiation.
While yin (female) comes before yang (male), we are going to flip it around here and look at yang first. Because, seriously dude, if you don’t have your mind-game on, then we don’t need to worry about getting your girl souped up for this. Only when you are sure that you want to experience and command some more intense sexual episodes, should you even bring this up to your significant other. If it’s not something you are into, then don’t bring it up. If she brings it up, perhaps after forcing you to watch Fifty Shades of Gray with her… or The Secretary… or any of the pop-BDSM movies that feature some version of the dominant male sex scenario, then the blame will be the movie and not you, for getting her juices bubbling this way. And the subsequent discussion the two of will have, will then be her initiation to you, as opposed to the other way around. But if the idea of being a dominant fucker is appealing to you, then lets dig into the mind space you’ll need.
Yang – Male Mind Space
To be expected, the mind space for the male is one of control and dominance. It's important to note that you will be dominant, but you WILL NOT be a bully. You will be in control, but obviously in a caring way. You will run this show, run this fuck, set the pace, make the rules, and all that, with confidence and always with your partner’s full consent. You will be in your most masculine, primal energy. You will be in your fullest big dick energy. If this is your mind space, then you are ready to play these kinds of grown-up games. And if you have these concepts mastered, the sex will be inherently intense, and amazing.
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